Tips On Divorce

Again, to reiterate, I am not a lawyer, nor will what I say necessarily stand true in every case, in every state, in every situation. With that being said…

Divorce is a tricky situation. Not only is it an emotional roller coaster it can be financially painful as well. Through talking with other divorced men (and women) there are a few things that you need to do to take care of yourself.

• Consult a lawyer — You may think you can ‘work it out amicably’ but nine times out of ten that isn’t going to happen. Contact a legal expert to know your rights.
• Talk to your family (or friends) — Lean on a support network to help you through the transition. If you have been married for a longer period of time, 5+ years, you probably have relied on your soon-to-be ex for support and now you need to seek it elsewhere.
• Spend time with your children — This is a tumultuous time for the kids too. Do what you can to spend time with them when you can. If they live with you be the bigger person and let your ex spend time with them too. If you don’t she’ll probably seek a court decree to force visitation.
• Keep it in your pants — Your wallet. Don’t get spendy, you are going to need the money for legal fees and bills. You’ll also need it if you are ordered to pay child support prior to the divorce settlement. All that EXTRA cash burning a hole in your wallet should be saved until the tides of divorce have evened out and you need your financial situation.
• Keep it in your pants — Your jewels. If you choose to date (which I will save for a separate occasion) try to keep he or she away from your children. It’s not fair to them to bring a rebound into the relationship. If your kids are older this could create extra stress and heartache for them (and you). This could get back to your ex, and depending on the state, cost you in the courtroom.
• Exercise –Physical exercise has been shown to reduce stress and help you live longer. If divorce isn’t stressful, you’re doing something wrong or ignoring the signs of stress. Stay active and focus that energy onto the road, treadmill, weight stack or stair-master. The extra benefits of exercise will keep your mind sharp.
• Stay in Community — Call your friends and family and keep in communication with them. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you. This job is not for your kids.
• Go to Church — Spend some serious time in prayer and reflection. Some time in worship, song and Scripture can help take your mind off of your problems as well as give you guidance and clarity.
• Pick up a Hobby — Maybe you like to draw, paint or just go fishing. When you are able go enjoy one of your hobbies.
• Take time for you!